Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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