pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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