I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
