Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
