that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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