How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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