i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
