I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
