I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
