CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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