Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
