Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
