yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
