It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
