I just made out with a guy for $7.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
