i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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