ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
