The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Im part way to drunk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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