she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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