I'm really into asian looking animals
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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