I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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