i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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