Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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