I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
