i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
