Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
