Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Enjoy the penises
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize