Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
