honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize