Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize