I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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