Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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