You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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