First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
