I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
