just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
