he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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