She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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