Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
