hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
