Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
