I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
