Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wannas sexs uuuuu
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
