There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
