good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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