Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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