worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
