Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So squirting runs in the family.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
