I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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