remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
