If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
