He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
