sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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