I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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