on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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